She's In Denial.

28 February 2007

I had a terrible stomach cramp today.

It's so terrible that I couldn't even stand up straight.

It's so terrible that I had to cancel the trip down to SP with ZuPeng to help him on the admission stuff.

It's so terrible that I had to cancel the trip down to Amore with Mich.

It's so terrible that I started crying.

It's so terrible when the pain is so unbearable but there isn't anyone who can come and console me.. ='(

Somehow I feel like crying out loud.

Nothing seems to be going fine for me recently.

I just wish that I could turn back time..

Left`alone
2/28/2007 10:07:00 PM™

27 February 2007

Me, MingYi and Chelsea.

Hanging out with them at SL is great. I felt as if Im back to the olden days whereby there's only joy, laughter and fun.

It's so hard to come by.

Left`alone
2/27/2007 06:40:00 PM™

25 February 2007

Went to SL for tuan bai today.

First time seeing SL being so crowded. o.0

Had plenty plenty of fun today too.

Haaa

Eh. I forget what I wanna blog about.
Maybe some other day.

Left`alone
2/25/2007 09:36:00 PM™

I figured out that guys who compare girls right in front of their faces are big FUCKed UP.

And they have super small size dick that have high possibility of getting lost under their hairy forest.

lol. Pardon me for being so vulgar. It has been so freaking long since I used such language, and it's so unlike me! But sometimes i do love this side of me. Hahaha.

Oh well, I don't know. I am sociable when I feel good and comfy.

I know I am, and indeed, I am. =D

But when I feel terrible, HAHA, good luck to you. I'll give you my expression-less face.

That explains why I have like so little friends that I can talk well with and pour out all my thoughts without any obstructions.

If I realise that I can't communicate well with him/her, I will just, give up communication with that particular person. No point la. But still, I will be nice to try to start a normal conversation.

Only if he/she is nice to have the thoughts to continue it.

My dear friend, it's nice of you to bring your best friends together. But not everyone can get along with every other one well. It's just that kind of feeling that does not fit into anywhere. And most of the time, there is a tendency of neglecting any one of the party, esp when there's 3 out of 3 ppl that are kinda strangers to that party.

It's nobody's fault. So there isn't a need to apologise.

Reason being that we all have different characters and see things differently.

Not everyone can be the best of friends of everyone.

Just have to learn to give and take, and learn to learn.

Anyway, friends are there to treasure!!

The number of friends doesn't matter. It's the true friendship that both party share.

It all go back to a word called 'Love' in the end.

guys are BULL that SHIT. Wahahhaha. Kinda sexist over here. But that's just something random.

No offence.

Anyway, finally I've learnt how to play blackjack and win with it. =D

Left`alone
2/25/2007 12:18:00 AM™

23 February 2007

I din't really enjoy myself initially on Wed.

Felt ultimately out of place.

Well, though I do know who they are and they do know who I am, but still, the relation between us is just you-are-someone-who-i-know-what's-your-name, not someone I can consider my 'friend'.

They're just my friend's friends.

Maybe Im just being sensitive. But I do try to get involved in the conversations and stuff, but all to no avail. I bet nobody notices it at all. Either im being gotten back to later, or totally went unnoticed.

So i figured out that there's no point.

And yea. I hate comparision.

Left`alone
2/23/2007 12:52:00 PM™

20 February 2007

Shall let pictures do some talking.

A night of clubbing. Friday Night. Ladies Night. DXO night.

Lunar New Year. With that naughty cousin of mine. He grins.

And he loves my house so much that it's his 2nd home.

The purely no make up girl with the swimming girl. The sensible cousin of mine. She's an angel. Oh and.. the round round face girls. Hahaha.

I told you she's angelic. She's lovely.

The Mr ZhiGuan. There! At that don't-know-what place where the bunch of us were chilling out at on Lunar New Year.

COol hor? hahaha.

COOL LAH!

Left`alone
2/20/2007 12:56:00 PM™

At last, Im back to blogging. Phew! All I can say about the past few days is like.. wow.

I freaking enjoyed them!

Sunday was the first day of Lunar New Year.

Did the usual stuff as usual.

It's always the same every year, getting kinda boring year by year. And my desire to go have fun with friends on this day grow through time. But not many would be free on this day, for it is definitely a real family day where parents would say "No you are not allowed to go anywhere today". Kinda depressing hor.

But still, I managed to find a bunch of people to be with.

Say that Im lucky? ^^*

Meet up with PeiCheng, YinZhi, Steven and ZuPeng in Orchard. Settled at CoffeeBean after walking aimlessly and waited for ZhiGuan and FeiYou to come.

So total, there's 7 of us.

Many people = Much much fun. Haha.

We were deciding whether to go clubbing or just purely chilling out at a cafe/bar and chosen the latter cuz ZuPeng is still, underage la.

Went to this place.. Some non western place I suppose. Heh.

Nice beer, nice food, nice churros.

And they treat me to Sex On The Beach. It's really nice I tell you.

Then we went to 7-11, bought booze, and settled down to chat, all the way till like.. 4am?

I reached home at 5+am.

And Monday, which is yesterday, is about the same as the day before. I reached home at around 5+am too. Heh.

Meet up with PeiCheng at Tampines to take 27 to SengKang to meet Steven. We're going to ZhiGuan's house. Ya la. There's only 3 of us going. Geeh.

After that, the 4 of us went to Steven's house. FeiYou came to meet up with us too.

Then.. Steven went for dinner, ZhiGuan went home. The rest went to FeiYou's house.

I can say that I never visit so many people's houses in a day before.

First time leh!

Anyway, we met up with LingLing and went to Marina Sq.

Were deciding whether to go clubbing, pub-ing or kbox-ing. See! Another we-don't-know-where-to-go situation. I realise that this always happen.

In the end, we went to kbox with another friend of theirs joining us. I kept forgetting his name. So.. forget it lor.

Had one Martell, 4 mixers, and 2 plates of finger foods.

Total bill went up to around 350bucks with each of us paying like 60bucks.

o.0

Im freaking freezing inside la. And drinking doesn't help at all. =x

So, we left at around 4.30am.. That friend of theirs send us home. And I reached home at around 5am again.

Cool lor. Im becoming night owl.

And cool lor. My angpow money is pathetic. Hahahahhaha.

Left`alone
2/20/2007 12:21:00 PM™

17 February 2007

What a night!

Went to Hark Cafe with ShiQin, ZhiGuan and Peicheng. It's still a nice place afterall.

Peicheng went off at around 10.45pm for movie with some other ppl, and the 3 of us decided to go to DXO.

It's my first official clubbing experience, legally. =D

They had live band there. So cool. And I so wanna sing in a band. Heh. Shall work hard for it then.

When it got later, the fun begins.

Anyway, it's ladies night over there. So there's free flow of drinks for ladies. Hee. But the drinks are kinda boring. Haha.

So we danced, and had fun, and ZG went off earlier while Peicheng joined us at around 3am.

Funny. Dancing with people that I never see myself dancing with.

But it's fun. FUn fun fun.

I reached home at around 5am.

And it's New Year Eve already.

How fast time flies.

Only if time never pass, then all the superficial feelings and dreams could continue without coming back to reality.

The harsh reality.

Left`alone
2/17/2007 10:02:00 PM™

15 February 2007

I think i forget to add on.. about my haircut..

I HAD THIS SUPER HAIRSTYLE THAT LOOKS LIKE THE ONE I HAD WHEN IM IN SECONDARY SCHOOL.

SO... what the. =.=''

OK. End of update. Bye.

Left`alone
2/15/2007 11:14:00 PM™

Wow I enjoyed myself greatly today!

Went for the songwriting workshop early in the morning like 9++am. And oh well, learnt about Motif.

Like how songs revolve around motif. Cool. Im kinda motivated to compose now. Haha. There's something that is still undone. So I gonna complete it. =D

I gonna record it into a song. A complete song.

Met Mich in the noon and we went for retail therapy!

We became boobs specialist too. haha. Had a great fun talking about breast implants, how to enhance your boobies, and how to identify fake boobies. heh. If you need some tips, can come and find us.

We walked the whole of Orchard today.

Tired. There's so much i wanna say. But im tired.

Anyway, I bought a belt, a nail color, and a watch-cum-bracelet.

Pretty stuff.

And I still can't find my shoes.. That's sad enough.

But guess it's alright.

No harm wearing old shoes right?

Gosh. Im blogging in short short sentences now. Hah. So not interesting. So unlike me.

Who cares man.

I happy = happy enough = good.

Wahahahahhahaha.

Sun tanning tml.

I gonna be BLACK.

Have fun people.

Left`alone
2/15/2007 09:05:00 PM™

13 February 2007

Birthday Updates!

But.. no photos cuz I practically forget about my camera and Im kinda lazy to upload those few few few photos I have now. Heh.

Fridayy

Busybusy preparation. Went to meet Shiqin in the noon to fetch her to my hse, then waited for YongHeng to come before setting off. There's many many stuff to carry ah.

So after checking in and settling down, we played around with balloons. Heh. Trying to do stunts with balloons. =x Wahahaa. Trying to make many many different patterns. And that YongHeng broke so many of them. =.='' Still dare to blame my balloons for being lousy. Tsk!

Then Henry came over. Heeeh! I think I sort of lied to him to get him come over earlier than expected? lol.

Anyway, the guys started the fire and stuff after the food had arrived.

The first to arrive was Cheryl, TeckHui and Joshua.

Kinda amazing to see Josh bbq-ing. Like.. o.0 He knows how to bbq. =x Hahahaha.

More and more people arrived as time goes by. I've lost track of the time too.

My friends, SiongLeng friends, XieLaoShi.. Wah. Was busy entertaining them.

Had a lot of fun la. Felt so loved by the people around me. Hee.

And throughout the bbq, I only managed to eat a chicken wing and a few sticks of satays. =.=''

Then when most of the people left, the remaining ones were watching tv in the chalet.

Im outside with Mich, Yanisa and her friends, Daryl they all. Get to know them la. And found out that one of them.. his birthday is 10feb.

Im so bad at remembering names. Haha. Only know one of them is rayson and another is wilson. And another.. is muscle man? hahaha =x

After that, the big bunch of us went to DowntownEast's Mac to have breakfast. There's only a few bicycles so the lucky ones were on bic. hee. Im one of the lucky ones. They still doubt whether I know how to cycle or not la. So evil.

Cycled to the RedHouse after that. So pitch dark. Cant see anything at all. Aye so no fun. Hah. Can only see the two lion statues clearly. Lol.

Then back at the chalet.. Lights off. Was trying to rest when don't knw who started balloon fight. Stupid la. Take balloons and started throwing and hitting one other. But it was fun la.

Saturday

Waited for Kevin to come over, then off to SiongLeng for practice while the rest went off. Tiring la. Almost fell asleep. I am sick too. lol.

Went back to chalet with KB to pack the stuff after that, then off to my hse to put the stuff and back to chalet again.

KB went to meet PeiCheng for soccer match. Me, ZhiGuan and YongHeng stayed behind for bbq again. Small bbq. We chatted a lot too. So relaxing!

Later in the night.. the guys, including kevin, played blackjack till damn late la. I wanna sleep but they keep asking me to wake up. =.= Im sick somemore lor. lol. Luckily I had two pillows with me. hahahha. And nobody to snatch it away. HEh.

But I nv really had a good night slp too. Cuz there's ppl who snore. Luckily the one besides me dint. Or else I can go crazy. Heh.

Sunday

Went down to HongKah after checkout. Totally worn out man. Was sick and tired. Ahhhh! Zupeng was sick as well. He's shivering la. Aiyo.

Then to Bugis for SiongLeng's performance. o.0

Then to SiongLeng and dinner after performance.

Then to VivoCity with the ppl after dinner. Haha

Amazing ah. To think that I have the strength to do all these besides being sick and tired!

Phew.. Right here, I would really wanna thank all that attended my bday party, thank you all for the love, wishes, joy and laughter that you ppl bring. Thanks all that were unable to attend too cuz you ppl rmb my bday and sent me a wishing as well. =D It's the thoughts that count. Hee.

I do feel loved..

Anyway, I have been wanting to find an answer to this qsn recently.

Will you let yourself fall for someone who is attached, and the other party is someone who you know and will see often?

I've been thinking a lot about this recently. Heh.

The other time, I kept asking HaoSong and PeiCheng why guys two-time girls. lol.

HaoSong gave up answering me, while PeiCheng.. was trying very hard to answer, but still, cant come up with an answer in the end. Hahaa.

Some blamed the girls.

But if the girl really likes the guy, she's not in the wrong ya? Cuz it's the guy's decision on who to choose.

Aiya. Confusing.

V'day coming. Im valentine-less. But it's okay. Cuz I have my friends. =)

I love them. They love me.

CNY coming. I have not yet buy my clothes.

Reason being.. No money! hahaha.

Left`alone
2/13/2007 01:05:00 AM™

08 February 2007

hellooooooooooooo PEOPLE!

It's tml! It's tomorrow! IT'S TML!!!

Costa Sands Pasir Ris. Call me for the unit no. =D

Do come after 5 ya.

Anyway, anyone out there, kind enough to sponsor booziie?? Hahahahhaha.

I am broke u know. LOL.

I CYA!

Left`alone
2/08/2007 06:24:00 PM™

07 February 2007

It'll be my birthday in 2 days time.

Im looking forward to it. Haaa. I hope things will be fine and I will be a happy girl on that day.

Im so afraid that things will go wrong; be it my fault or whatever.

But.. aiya.. Don't knw la.

Everyone's welcome to attend, really.

Let's celebrate together. =D

Anyway, I received a birthday card drawn by my lil cousins, and they made a necklace for me!

How sweet!! It has been ages since I received a hand-drawn card. I think I never receive it before.

It's the thoughts that count.

Seriously, I love it a lot.

And seriously, I feel that Im loved by my lil cousins. heh.

Eh. Although they're all in primary school, they're still my lil cousins.

Left`alone
2/07/2007 12:08:00 AM™

02 February 2007

I feel so lost.

Lost as in, don't know who I can trust around me.

I've heard enough of the many different stories regarding one matter.

I don't know. Kinda getting manipulated by it.

It sucks, I know..

He asked me again to return his bag. You know, I want to. I want to return it badly.

But I am afraid of meeting him. I am afraid of seeing him. I am so afraid that I can't control my emotion. I am afraid that I will break down once more. I am afraid that I can't behave normally. I am afraid that I will end up in a dilemma again. I am afraid of digging up the past in my mind. I am afraid of what's gonna happen after that.

I am afraid that he'll be the one i'll miss on my birthday.

I am afraid of everything..

Somehow, I still remember that particular day one year ago, where he wished me a happy birthday through a sms after a 6 mth breakup..

oh well. Guess Im thinking too much right now.

But still, I am afraid.

Left`alone
2/02/2007 06:50:00 PM™